Attitudes to Therapy
MALE AND FEMALE ATTITUDES TO THERAPY
By David Heard-Smith D.H.P.
The different attitudes to illness, whether physical, mental or emotional, between men and women are based on their psychological differences. We are all aware of the theory that men come from Mars and women from Venus and that there is a considerable difference between the genders of species, the obvious physical differences and the less obvious mental and psychological differences. The female brain is very different from that of the male in it’s physical make up and function. This difference is based on the distinctive purposes of our existence.
It is necessary to generalize, of course, because a percentage of both genders are endowed with excessive elements of the other and society is now, often, of the opinion that females should be ‘lads’ and males should be ‘lasses’ or at least a very diluted version of their natural role. This is a ‘time bomb’ rumbling away and waiting to explode but that is another subject.
Apparently, according to the experts, the original split from another species that commenced the evolutionary development of present day man, occurred some three million years ago. A further change occurred between two hundred and three hundred thousand years ago, which started the development of Homo sapiens. Following this, at around sixty to seventy thousand years past, the present day version of the species came into being. In evolutionary terms this is but a ‘blink of an eye’ and so you and I are still endowed with the very basic instincts of pre historic man. This means that our subconscious mind is still functioning on a very basic instinctive level and as it controls every function of our being it is going to cause serious internal conflicts between how we want to behave and the behaviour that society demands. Yes, we are still animals to our very cores, even if the thought horrifies you.
In our basic instinctive subconscious mind we need to live our lives in the historic manner. Men are hunters, providers and protectors. Women are bearers of children, nurturers, homemakers and carers. When this psychological need is disturbed it causes conflict in our subconscious mind and this conflict can, and will, cause emotional and physical dis-ease along with depression.
It is common for women to criticise and belittle men by referring to them suffering from an ego problem, forgetting or denying that they suffer likewise. The ego is ‘the self’ and everyone has a self. If this self feels threatened then it will develop a strategy to protect itself, sometimes causing problems in doing so.
In their role as a ‘man’ men generally have to employ a tunnel vision attitude to events. He must concentrate on the target of the hunt or battle, whether that is a sabre-toothed tiger, a raiding party from another group of humans intent on rape and pillage, achieving promotion at work or just keeping his job. Worrying about the colour of the cave or cleaning up his offspring is not really of great importance to them. He must have a very strong ego and a deep conviction in his own ability and power. Total confidence in his own invincibility, strength, skills and the unwavering trust and support of those he is responsible for. To question any of these is to undermine his very existence. To accept that he is ill, injured, weak or in any way less than one hundred percent in perfect condition both mentally and physically is to weaken or destroy the very foundations of his existence. To admit he needs therapy or help of any sort, willingly seek it out and undergo whatever the therapy requires is an anathema to him. Women would do well to understand this fact of life. Likewise men would do equally as well to understand that women are the reverse.
Women, due to the roles that they are destined, by nature, to fulfil, see things in a different light and are far more inclined to consider their wellbeing as being of import. Their maternal and nurturing role requires that they be ‘right’ in themselves to enable them to be available to administer to those that rely on them. Their mental attitude is generally more loosely confined, enabling them to be aware of a wider field of different subjects at the same time. The new infant that they are carrying, the existing children, the cave environment, the sustenance to be prepared and their own personal condition are all of importance to them and can be considered at one and the same time. This, however, does not alter the fact that no one can do more than one thing at the same time properly, no matter what their personal belief might be. No man or woman can go out to work and at the same time nurture children successfully. Something has to suffer. Women rarely have a life-threatening situation to deal with on a par with men. Even rape by a raider is, in nature, a perfectly normal function of life and not inclined to cause death, just change. This less intensive level of physical and mental concentration allows the foundation of their ego to be less rigid and more flexible, hence, less fragile than that of the male. They can consider that they might not be in perfect physical or emotional condition and thus seek help without any trauma to their egos. The subconscious can comfortably cope with this knowledge.
It is for these reasons that women are far more likely to be sensible and look for help with their problems than men. It is a fact of life that far fewer men than women are prepared to accept that there is anything wrong with them and the result of this is that men die younger from stress related illnesses, are less content with their existence and tend to be a complete pain in the proverbial when unwell.
Hypnotherapy is very useful to both sexes as it enables them to come to terms with the psychological upset of the conflicts between their subconscious need and the requirements in modern life. Women know this and hopefully men will come to know it in the fullness of time. Preferably before the stress factor kills them all off with heart attacks, strokes and diseases based on the failure of their immune systems. Alcoholism, drug abuse, workaholicism and abusive violent behaviour are also factors to take into consideration as shortening life expectancy.
Society has a part to play in the future of the good health of the population and much of that part is to realise that the modern human being, both male and female, is unable to cope psychologically with the ever changing demands and fashionable thinking placed on them by modern government, religion and commercial interests. The fact that our basic instincts and needs are still wallowing in the quagmire of life, as it was thousands of years ago must be recognised.