THE WONDERS of SELF-ENLIGHTENMENT
By David Heard-Smith D.H.P.
I believe that the finest way to enable people to evaluate and make up their mind as to whether something is likely to be useful to them is to give them a good understanding of the subject. This alleviates problems caused by anxiety, fear, ignorance and misinformation. Lets face it, the word hypnosis and subsequently hypnotherapy does promote some very silly and fanciful ideas in the minds of a great many people. To this end I am going to present a few abbreviated case histories to show the power of the subconscious mind and its ability to get things wrong regardless of its best intentions. These case histories are altered in time and identity so as to maintain the clients confidentiality but the facts are accurate. Although the purpose of your subconscious mind is to control every aspect of your being and to care for and protect you, it frequently fails in its task. The reason for this is that it is not capable of rational thought or logical interpretation therefore applying your logical, conscious, mind to the problem will be of no avail. It is very childlike in it’s behaviour and functions purely on emotion, feelings and reaction, all of which are capable of getting things very wrong, even though they might seem appropriate at the time. We have all experienced the mistaken reaction we have made to something we’ve heard, said about us or to us, only to discover that we only managed to hear half a tale or missed the important word. How many times have we reacted badly to something someone has done, with the very best of intentions, simply because we didn’t take the trouble to think about their motives instead of assuming. It is a fact that perfectly normal people are totally unwilling to accept that they are being driven by their own subconscious mind. They like to believe that they are in control. They fear the unknown and insist that, ‘nothing is wrong with me, I certainly don’t need any help. I have nothing controlling me.’ That very attitude itself is indicative of a psychological problem because we are all affected by something unknown from our past.
These cases may seem to have no bearing on the reader’s situation and, although I admit that they involve very unpleasant experiences, they are certainly not unusual and the subject had no conscious knowledge of the events. I am certain that most readers will consider that there is no relationship to them and their particular problems but if I tell you that two of the three clients had no conscious memory of the events that caused their respective problems and the third had an entirely different conscious recall compared to the realities, it might just make you think for a moment or two. The one thing that the subconscious mind is very good at is repressing all memories of events that caused severe emotional upset or altering the recall of such events so as to protect the person involved. However it is never too late to change things for the better. It is also a fact that far more women find themselves wanting to do something about their problems than men. I believe that men consider it somewhat demeaning to admit to their problems but this is slowly changing for the better as the stresses of life force them into poor health ever earlier in their life. Maybe it is better to prevent health problems rather than rely on the possibility of a cure. Albert Einstein once said that a stupid person is someone who continues to do the same thing but expects a different outcome.
The first case is one of a young lady, I will call her Sally, who presented with difficulties in her sex life. Sally admitted to enjoying sex very much but in, her words, not mine, ‘goes absolutely bananas’ when she was tied to the bed. During this period of bondage she would experience feelings of considerable pleasure, anger, pain, humiliation and embarrassment but never guilt.
I conducted an in-depth analysis with the aid of hypnosis over a period of eight or nine weekly sessions during which she revealed that some years previous, unbeknown to her conscious mind, she had been raped by four young men who had firmly held her down to facilitate the assault. Sally failed to tell anyone of the event at the time and her subconscious mind quickly repressed the memory. She also recalled, much to her chagrin, that she had felt considerable pleasure during the event as well as anger, pain, humiliation, embarrassment and guilt at actually receiving pleasure from this abuse. Although it is taboo to say that some women do gain enjoyment from rape, it is, nevertheless, a fact of life. The physical response is associated with the possible danger to their life and the instigation of the primary basic instinct of preservation of the species.
The realisation of the truth, enlightened her to the fact that now, when she is tied to the bed, she can safely say that it is not my fault. Now, when she is tied to the bed she can say to herself, ‘I’m struggling, it’s not my fault, someone is making me do this.’ She is able to satisfy the guilt attached to enjoying the sex during the rape and can lay back and have a good time.
The outcome of this revelation was that Sally could now put things into perspective using her acquired knowledge of life and her experiences. She was able to understand that she had nothing to feel guilty about, that none of it was her fault and so be free from the feeling of guilt that had so affected her. In her ‘follow up’ contacts, the young lady admitted to finding herself able to thoroughly enjoy her sex life without the need to be tied up and found herself able to relax and participate as an active partner rather than as a submissive one.
This case is also one involving a young lady, I will call her Julie, of 18 years of age who had for many years suffered from Anorexia Nervosa. When she presented herself with her elder sister and mother it was very clear that the whole family were in need of help but I agreed to deal with Julie first as her problems seemed to be somewhat more pressing. Julie appeared to be a well rounded young woman, very attractive, of a jolly disposition and seemingly in good health. The history was that at age 13 to 14 she had developed a need to be slim. Apparently this need became a drive that she was unable to control and eventually developed into anorexia. She had lost so much weight that she had been admitted to hospital in an attempt, successful obviously, to save her life. On admission her body weight had dropped to 77lb = 35kg. It was necessary to force feed her to increase her body’s weight and she was given limited psychological help.
I put her on a course of analysis again using hypnosis and after some four or five sessions Julie started to recall bits of a conversation at the kitchen table when she was 13 years old, which, caused alarm bells to ring in my head. During the seventh session she recalled that she was a bit on the chubby side, ‘puppy fat’ it used to be called and was ‘stuffing her face’ with some, less than healthy food, when her Father came in. He noticed what she was doing and became very angry with her. It needs to be said at this point that Julie was a healthy 13 year old and very pretty and, what is more, her father’s ‘little princess’. In his anger he shouted at her, “How can you expect anyone to love you when you are so fat? You will make yourself unlovable.” This outburst upset her but no more than was to be expected.
During the next session Julie suddenly became extremely emotional and was in some distress. Eventually she started to recall that her mother had entered her bedroom early in the morning and asked her if she had seen her father, to which she replied that she had not. Her mother then asked if she would go and look for him, as she needed to prepare breakfast. Julie searched the house to no avail and then went out into the garden. She couldn’t find him there so went to the garage to look. On opening the garage door she immediately saw her father, hanging by the neck from a roof joist, dead. She was staring at her dead father who had hanged himself because of her. She ‘just knew’ she had killed him because she was so fat and unlovable. He had killed himself because she was so fat that he couldn?t love her anymore.
Is it so surprising that this poor child developed an eating disorder?
This memory had been repressed by her subconscious to protect her and although the family knew of it they didn’t discuss it and even if they had Julie would never have realised it’s significance.
When last I saw Julie she was 20 years old and full of life with absolutely no eating problem whatsoever.
This involves a man of 50 years of age who came to see me about a lack of confidence. During the course of hypnoanalysis he revealed that he had suffered great difficulties when dealing with the opposite sex from early childhood right through to the present day. These difficulties were not catastrophic but had made mixing with girls and eventually women, problematic to him. During about the fifth or sixth session John, as I will call him, revealed that he had been sent to spend the day with his mother’s friend. This woman had four daughters ranging from three years older than him to three years his junior, he was at the time 9 years old. During the course of the day their mother went out shopping and left the children at home to play. Well play they did, at least the girls did and what they played with was John. They forced him on to the sofa and took his trousers off along with his pants and started to play with his penis. They also poked fun at him and it and told him how their mother said that boys and men were no good and that they should all be put down and that only girls and women were worth anything. John, not surprisingly, became extremely upset and emotional as he recalled this experience.
Eventually they allowed him to dress himself to the tune of their continued verbal abuse and in time the mother returned. John was collected by his own mother at the appointed time and went home. During the short journey he was somewhat quiet and subdued to such an extent that when they arrived home his mother asked what was wrong with him. He started to explain to his mother all that had taken place but before he had told half the tale his mother became angry and told him that if he was going to try and make trouble between her, his father and her friend he could get out, leave the house. She would not stand for it.
Who’s surprised that John had a problem with the ‘fair sex’.
John’s subconscious mind had repressed this experience to protect him but had made him feel very uncomfortable in the company of girls and women for the rest of his life up until coming to see me. After the catharsis brought about by analysis, the realisation and reassessment of events in the light of adult knowledge and reasoned thought he was feeling very much better in his relationships with the opposite sex but he still had a lot of learning to do. I recall that one of the first things he said after returning to full awareness was, “I wish they would do that to me now. Things would definitely be very different.”
John did have one other problem to sort out and that was to confront his now ageing mother with regard to her part in the events of so long ago. She did eventually admit that she had handled it badly and that she knew something had happened but couldn’t possible confront her friend, especially as she was well aware of her opinion of the male sex. This confrontation was beneficial for John and his mother but it is not always advisable.
You, the reader may see little or no relevance in these cases to your own situation. Certainly it is unlikely that your problems will be caused by the same experiences but you would be surprised at how powerful your subconscious is and the lengths to which it will go to protect you from those hurtful emotional events in your young life.
Hypnoanalysis gives you a most wonderful insight into why and how you behave as you do and it is never too late to make the change.
If what you are doing and have always done doesn’t work then do something different. To enable you to achieve that state of difference you need to find out what it is that controls your subconscious behaviour.